2019-05-16 11:17 供稿單位: 新航道 原創作者:章躍
Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
審 題：What are the problems?
1. depletion of resources
2. massive production of rubbish / manufacturing to meet the need of consumption → polluted air and water
3. short supply of land → unfriendly housing price and congested roads
4. way too many contestants / replacements → stressful workplace...（一定還有許多）
The world suffers [動詞帶有“評價”色彩，這里選用“負評價”動詞] from many problems. Most of them are attributed to the excessive size of population [主題詞匯overpopulation的替換].
當然可以寫成陳述形式的句子，但是，措辭的“花樣”在于：用虛擬語氣寫：To begin with, if there were not a population of this current size, humanswould not need to exploit the great deal of resources to meet theimmense needs. Therefore, it is fair to attribute the depletion of resources to overpopulation. [注意行文脈絡：如果寫土地資源，就是新寫一個問題，而如果寫生產就是一種“順延”：從資源到生產] Also because of theenormous size of population, manufacturing has to be intense, and while it produces usable products, it produces the undesirable by-products – sewage, gas, and landfill refuse. Thus, it is fair to trace the root of the problem of pollution back to overpopulation. [土地問題和交通問題太直接，如果繼續在這個段落里寫，有可能就寫成流水賬。所以不在這個段落里寫，而后移到下一個段落：主要寫“社會性”問題]
[注意段落直接的銜接] Not only does overpopulation cause [留意這里的倒裝現象] the above immediate problems, it also has the following impact on our society. In many countries and areas, land can no longer accommodate the large populations, and, as a result, the housing price is unfriendly and stressful. Nor does the land have the space for thecolossal volumes of traffic, and the consequence is that people are always in a bad mood as they are constantly stuck. The stress extends to the workplace. [“短句”法，控制信息的節奏] The large population means a large number of contestants for jobs. In this overpopulated society, finding a job is not easy, and keeping one is also difficult because employers can always find replacements among the large population.It follows that many of social problems also result from overpopulation.
The world has many problems. In light of the above, I am certain that most of those problems are the result of overpopulation.